The Doomino Effect for February 18, 2009

In this episode: Mysterius the Unfathomable #2 | Johnny Monster #1 | Guardians of the Galaxy #10

Speaking of Guardians of the Galaxy #10, this was definitely my least favorite of the series so far. I have been a huge fan of the writing in this book, but the attempts at snappy dialogue were downright painful at times. It was so bad, it felt at times like I was reading Fabian Nicieza’s best work. Here are a few instances:

PETER: What kind of idiot opened the gates?
JACK: I don’t know, Star-Lord, I’m going to say the bad kind?

INMATE 1: If you think we’re going to give up to some monkey-faced —
ANGRY MOB: Rrraaaa
INMATE 1: Kidding! Surrender it is!
INMATE 2: Yeah, we’ll go with surrender! Do you want it in writing or will a symbolic tossing aside of our weapons be okay?

LACKEY: The inmates were told to join your army or die.
BLASTAAR: And?
LACKEY 2: Most of them joined, great one.
BLASTAAR: What did the rest do?
LACKEY 2: They died.

BLASTAAR: I’m told you can open any lock or door, Mister Ki?
SKELETON KI: That’s why I call myself “Skeleton Ki,” your highness.
BLASTAAR: Ah, yes. I’ve just got that. Very good.

I had also never ever recalled reading the word “Teep” before, yet the word was plastered all over this issue.

I have no problem with a writer (or pair of writers) trying to add some levity to the drama, and the balance in this title is usually excellent. But man, the lame attempts at humor were way out of balance here. I was bothered by how much that affected my enjoyment of what is normally right up there with my favorites each month.

I’m still curious about where everything is going, particularly the subplot with Warlock suddenly proclaiming himself the Messiah and the rightful leader of the Universal Church of Truth as well as the background issue of Major Victory and Starhawk. The promising thing about this otherwise disappointing issue is that we’re starting to see how several months-old seeds (if not older) are starting to grow and intertwine. Secret Invasion led to Blackbolt getting pissed off, which is leading to the War of the Kings, which will involve this Starhawk mumbo jumbo, the Blastaar bidness and Vulcan.

Speaking of living long and prospering, that leads me to Mysterius the Unfathomable #2. I actually didn’t realize this was coming out this week, so it helped what was otherwise a very dull new comic book day for me. I really dug issue #1 when it was our Book of Doom a few weeks back, and I was very pleased that the follow-up didn’t disappoint. It’s more of the fun story, colorful characters and fantastically appropriate art. Jeff Parker’s writing is just spot-on for the tone of this book. I loved this exchange, when Delfi, Mysterius and their client see the projection of the most recent all-nude witch ceremony.

DELFI: I didn’t expect them to be in such good shape.
MYSTERIUS: They’re not Wiccans, they’re real witches.

Cracked me right up, that did. It’s hard not to appreciate a cheap-shot at those weird girls you’d know from school who’d claim to be witches.

Speaking of things that wish they were half as cool as they think they are, that leads me to Johnny Monster #1, this week’s Book of Doom.

What a dismal failure. I’m not sure if we’ve had such unanimous disgust over a Book of Doom since Deathblow #1. I give it 1/10 for its good Saturday morning cartoon premise.