Book of Doom: DC Universe #0

I didn’t know what to to expect going into DC Universe #0. This is the third time DC has released a bargain-priced universe-wide one-shot, and while Countdown to Infinite Crisis was one of the best single issues of any comic ever, Brave New World was a bunch of crappy short stories designed to get you to buy a bunch of crappy new mini-series.

So when I got to page 8, and saw that DC Universe #0 was following the formula that Brave New World did, I was a little disappointed. Sure, I’d rather read short stories involving Superman, Green Lantern and Batman than OMAC, Uncle Sam and…whatever else came out of Brave New World that I’ve apparently forgotten about. But I already read Action Comics, so I know what’s going on with the Legion (and this week’s issue explained the “Legion of Three Worlds” thing better than DC #0 did). I don’t plan to read Batman RIP, WW and GL are already on my pull list, and I haven’t given two craps about the Spectre since he was seduced by Eclipso.

But then there was that last story. From the start of the issue, I had been a bit confused about who was narrating the story. It was someone that called Superman “Clark,” someone who “knows” Hal Jordan. Yet it’s was still someone who knew that Crispus Allen is the Spectre, which I’m guessing isn’t common knowledge to many people on this side of the grave. But I can’t believe that they’d actually do this.

Barry Allen is back fron the dead. Even though it could very well be a swerve and some other speedster could have returned, and even though Barry has been a better character dead than he ever was alive, that’s exciting.

When Grant Morrison was announced as the writer of Final Crisis, I was disheartened. When Countdown to Final Crisis became an unreadable piece of garbage week after week, I was disappointed. But when a “This is what you need to know” issue comes out, and I already know everything I need to know, that picks my spirits up a bit. And seeing the names Greg Rucka, Gail Simone and Geoff Johns attached, three people integral to the build-up to Infinite Crisis, makes me hopeful that DC might actually know what the hell they’re doing. Maybe Final Crisis won’t suck afterall.

I’d be willing to bet Jim Doom had a little bit of a different reaction, though:

Jim Doom: When I heard that Geoff Johns was going to be writing a lead-in to Grant Morrison’s Final Crisis, and it was going to be called DC Universe #0, and it was going to be cheap, I immediately thought of one thing:

Countdown to Infinite Crisis #0. That was an awesome book, a fantastic starting point for new readers, an amazing value for $1, and it prepared everyone for everything that was about to happen.

But when I read DC Universe #0, I was reminded of something completely different: the DCU Brave New World special, essentially a sequence of advertisements for upcoming series with a surprise at the end so that one doesn’t feel so much like they flipped through an issue of Previews.

Like Brave New World, DC Universe #0 managed to make me less excited for what is coming up. These prequels are essentially without anything of note, so they’re written cryptically to make you feel like you’re not just reading something you already knew or that you don’t really care to learn. I can’t imagine how off-putting this issue must have been for a new reader. Not only were most of the events cloaked in detached narration and riddle, but how pretentious was that opening chapter about the crises and the multiverse?

And the level of the narration. Ugh. “As soon as there was light — there was shadow. There was good … and evil.” I am all worn out on melodramatic duality discussions. Light, shadow, good, evil, bright, dark, etc. It’s just getting so tiresome, but it’s how essentially the last 20 years of DC history is encapsulated by our mysterious narrator to open this book.

But guess what? As the issue winds to a close, we find out the new problem in the DCU. “The light … the shadow … I’m the only one who can see the shadow … this gigantic shadow cast across the multiverse … falling over everything …” MORE SHADOW!

Blah blah blah. That’s what we read right before we see that, guess what, the Villans have united again! Ugh. Maybe THIS will be the time that it works, huh? Like they say, 8th time in 2 years is a charm! Although they still apparently call themselves The Secret Society of Super-Villains, to honor their ridiculous hokey roots.

And then we get to the big reveal at the end. Want to know something? I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how I’m supposed to know that it is who it is. I only know who it is because I was bored and went to Newsarama the other day. I actually thought it was maybe Captain Marvel or something.

But now that I have been informed by a website that this last page means that Barry Allen is back from the dead, I have to wonder, why did they even bring Wally back? Talk about a way to totally kill off the excitement of his return.

So anyway, I guess Barry Allen is now some kind of cosmic force, one with the multiverse, who has suddenly regained his consciousness. That’s the best I can tell from re-reading this issue.

And this stuff with Wonder Woman and the Spectre looks awful.

I’m really glad my shop gave this away for free.