Book of Doom: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #14

I’m not going to even pretend I can look at this issue from an objective point of view. I love Spider-Man. I love Peter David. I love it when people write Spider-Man as fun, and that’s what Peter David does. Granted, Friendly is not the best Spider-Man book out there (that honor belongs to Amazing), but it’s not as bleak as the others. And Spider-Man shouldn’t only be fun in stories he doesn’t star in. Did I mention this title is fun?

In this particular issue, David and guest artist Scott Eaton set-up a story that seems like it’ll be…oh, what’s the word…starts with an “f”…it’ll come to me later. Peter’s ex-girlfriend Deb Whitman is releasing a tell-all book about her releationship with Spider-Man, although it seems as though it didn’t turn out the way Deb wanted it to. Meanwhile, someone hires Vulture to kill Spider-Man. The same mysterious guy in the shadows that hired Green Goblin in Frontline, that said he was the “last person they’d expect” to betray the heroes? Only time will tell. And to top it all off, Peter adopts a brand new secret identity so he can continue to work at Midtown High. As Flash Thompson’s assitant coach, no less. Oh, did I say “brand new?” What I meant to say was “the secret identity of his now-deceased clone.” Fun! That’s the word I was searching for earlier. This book was fun. Let’s see if the other members of the Legion agree…

Doom DeLuise- “For an issue that guest stars Wolverine, the Punisher, and Beast, this issue sure was boring. I’ve never thought of the Vulture as a credible bad-guy, because he’s just plain silly looking (not to mention old). I guess I just don’t care about this thing. I’ve been reading ‘Amazing Spider-Man,’ which has held my interest these past few months (since the debut of his new suit), so I figure I’ve got my fill of Spidey. By the way, how many different Spider-Man series are running right now? Too many. I don’t read ‘Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man’ for the same reasons that I don’t read any of the boring and completely redundant Batman stories.”

Wait, don’t you still read ASSBAR?

Jean-Claude Van Doom- “I like Peter David, especially his latest run on X-Factor. And I like Spider-Man. But given how many crappy storylines Spidey has gone through in recent years, this is the first time I’ve read this series. So, my opinions aren’t the most well-informed.

Warning aside, I thought this issue was pretty bad. The art was just fine. The writing was okay. The plot was somewhat interesting. What killed it for me was setting this amid Civil War. From flipping through Amazing Spider-Man, I’ve seen how well that book handles Spidey’s side story, often actually out-doing the main Civil War series. This then seems like a complement to a complement, and an unnecessary and implausible one at that.

There’s no way Peter Parker, in any disguise, would get away with continuing to teach at his old school. The pro-reg folks would be looking for him there. He’s been too busy getting his ass whooped elsewhere to have time for it. And the staff would recognize him through the pathetic disguise. So what’s the point?

Further, this story really didn’t do itself any favors with the disjointed timeline. Stories told out of sequence can work. But a straightforward Spider-Man book isn’t the place.

So, my theory is that this might be a pretty decent read once Civil War concludes if PAD continues on. We’ll see.

Oh, and isn’t the Vulture dead? He was 90 years old in the 1960s. Come on!”

Keep hope alive, Van Doom.

Oh well, I guess you can’t win them all. Maybe bogging down all of Spider-Man’s titles with this whole “revealing his secret identity” thing wasn’t such a great idea after all, Joe.