Who the Heck is Thor?
Over the weekend, I was talking to a friend of mine about Iron Man and the eventual Avengers movie, including a discussion of who the main characters are going to be and what movies are going to be released before the big team-up in 2012.
He doesn’t read comic books, so he knows nothing about any of the Avengers aside from what’s been shown in the movies. He asked me who Captain America is, and I explained it to him with relative ease. I say “relative,” because it’s not everyday that you can tell somebody that a character survived several decades while frozen in suspended animation inside a block of ice all that easily.
When the topic turned to Thor, though, I found myself scratching my head. I said, “Uh…well, he’s a god or something like that.” Yeah, real smooth. Thing is, I’ve never regularly read Thor comics, so I don’t know doodley squat about the guy (really, though, who has regularly read Thor comics? Come on.).
In an attempt to redeem myself, I am now going to write out an explanation for my clueless friend (as well as for all of you faithful readers!) entitled, “What I Kind of Know About Thor (But Not Really).” Enjoy.
Thor is the God of Thunder. That much is easy. His primary weapon is a giant hammer named Mjolnir, which can only be lifted by the genuinely pure of heart. Thor’s powers include flight and super strength, as well as near invincibility. Oh, and did I mention he has a giant friggin’ hammer?
The son of Odin, Thor’s chief villain is his brother (or half-brother or step-brother or something) Loki, the Trickster God. They’re from a different world called Asgard. Asgard exists on an alternate plane of existence from Earth (which all Asgardians refer to as Midgard).
Thor is able to travel to Earth with the help of Mjolnir, I think, which serves as a sort of lightning rod to call him down. Mjolnir was found several years ago by a bright young medical student named Donald Blake. When Blake lifted the hammer, he became Thor. Or he swapped places with Thor. How does that work exactly? Is it a Billy Batson/Captain Marvel thing or a Prince Adam/He-Man thing? I don’t know, but it doesn’t really matter.
As far as I know, Donald Blake hasn’t been in a comic book for years. It’s pretty much all Thor, all the time. So I don’t worry too much about the whole Donald Black business, since it’s sort of a moot point. I’m sure he’ll be in the movie, though.
Aside from that, Thor was a founding member of the original Avengers (along with Iron Man, Hulk, Ant-Man, and Wasp – – please tell me they’re not making a Wasp movie).
What else? I think he married the Enchantress at one point, and I know he was thought dead for awhile. He’s currently starring in the mini-series “Siege,” which focuses on Norman Osbourne’s efforts to destroy Asgard and kill Thor (I think; I honestly haven’t been paying much attention).
I think that’s all I know. I’m not sure what the hell Beta Ray Bill is, and I forget how Valhalla fits into all of this. Thor also has a group of, like, two or three close Asgardian allies. I think they have a group name, but I don’t know what it is. They’ll probably be in the movie.
I know I’m forgetting something, and I know that some of this is probably completely inaccurate. Somebody who’s an expert should help me out here. Set the record straight in the comments section.
I think their group is called Thor and the Rockers.
I thought it was Thor and the Rippers.
let’s see … Thor’s alter ego is Don Blake, because he was sent to Earth by his dad, Odin. his three best friends are the Warriors Three, and that includes Volstagg, that fat yet limber guy who got set up by Norman Osborn into destroying Soldier Field as an excuse to take down Asgard.
Speaking of Asgard, this all stems from the excellent Thor reboot by Straczynski. After Ragnarok, every single Asgardian (except Odin) came back from the dead starting with Thor. He rebuilt Asgard as a floating kingdom above Oklahoma (in the movie, Mjolnir was found in New Mexico so am not sure if they’re gonna make it like that eventually). Loki was reincarnated as a (kinda hot) woman, but concocted a whole long-term trick by getting Thor kicked out of Asgard (killed his ecstasy-addled grampa Bor by mistake), set up Dark Reign (parts of it), set up Norman Osborn to fail, sold his fellow Asgardians to Dr Doom for vivisection, and made a deal with Hela (kinda hot mistress of … well, the dead non-kingdom) and Mephisto, to basically not be accountable for anything. pure evil, that one.
Beta Ray Bill is an alien, who for some reason is also of pure heart and can lift Thor’s hammer, thus another hammer was forged for him. He used to play Thor for awhile. Valhalla is where gods go to die, but for them, it’ll take a looong time before that happens. Why, Odin is locked in eternal battle with Surtur (that red long tailed demon – not Hellboy – who caused Ragnarok) in the afterlife, an event that keeps going on every. day. that doesn’t sound like peace to me.
by the way, Loki’s phase as a woman is over now, as he dropped all pretenses (that was Thor’s goddess girlfriend’s Sif’s body he was inhabiting by the way – eeeewww). Sif is back in her own body and Loki is back out in the open, but manipulating everything from behind the scenes. he’s been with them for centuries, but the Asgardians, especially Thor, never learn.
Rent Hulk VS. It breaks it down to the basic origins, offers some cool fight scenes and makes Thor seem really cool.
Man, how can you explain THOR without saying “he’s the NORSE GOD (those are Vikings, dude) reborn into the Modern World?”
He’s the guy that Thursday is named after…