Reviewing Next Week’s Comics

Well, my friends, I got my hands on some goodies this week. I somehow got a stack of some of next week’s Marvel comics (for free!), and, in the interest of full disclosure, I figure I may as well review them now. I won’t spoil anything for the good comics, but the ones that I thought were crap may as well be spoiled. I have seven issues, and, out of those, only two were worth the cover price. So, y’know, be warned.

First up, we have Captain America #43. It’s the first issue after the epic “Death of Captain America” storyline, and I have to say, it’s darn good. I can’t imagine you expected anything less from Ed Brubaker. This issue focuses on Bucky and his past as, well, Bucky, the sidekick to Steve Rogers. Part of it’s flashback; part of it’s present-day, and all of it is absolutely great. I don’t want to spill the beans too much, so just go buy it when it hits the shelves on Wednesday. There are some big bad guys in the shadows who know that the new Cap was once the Winter Soldier, and I’m very excited to see where this story goes next.

Next up, we have X-Factor #36. Fin Fang Doom wasn’t kidding when he said that Larry Stroman is a terrible, terrible artist. Seriously, this guy’s trash. I stopped reading X-Factor after the Messiah Complex, mostly because it seemed directionless and boring, and this issue gives me no reason whatsoever to rethink that. Seriously, Longshot’s back? What the heck is that? Oh, but in case you’re on the edge of your seat, the ending sees a warehouse blow up with several prominent members of X-Factor inside. Oh no! I wonder if they’ll be okay. Wait, no, I don’t care.

Did I mention I’m kind of drunk right now? It probably shows.

Hey, look, it’s Thor. And he’s got a one-shot. And it absolutely sucks. I really hate the way Thor and his stupid friends talk. Ye hast to take heed in thine words. This issue is a dumb little retelling of how the Sphinx was really created, with Thor and his entourage traveling back to ancient Egypt and running into some bad guys who make Thor fight a dumb beaked beast thing. It’s lame. Don’t buy it. Save your money. Oh, but Thor makes it rain in Egypt. If you actually think that’s cool, go away.

Let’s move on. I got the first issue of a new Wolverine miniseries. Four issues. I’ll betcha it’s crap. It’s called Wolverine: Manifest Destiny, and, boy, was I right. Somebody should wave a skunk in front of this thing. Wolverine drinks beer and fights some bad Chinamen. Then he kills one of the main ones and is confronted with one of his former lovers (a chick, don’t worry), and she’s all, “I’m gonna kill you, Wolverine!” Yawn. If he can survive an atom bomb, I’m pretty sure he can survive Memoirs of a Geisha.

Next up. Does anybody actually read this crap? Ultimate Spider-Man #127 is so friggin’ terrible. Gwen Stacey is Carnage? What? Why? Let’s not even bother. Here’s the last page. Gwen shows up at Pete’s place, and her face is the face of Carnage, and she says, “I’m having a bit of trouble here. And I don’t exactly know what to do.” Pete looks confused. I look bored.

I like whiskey. Man alive, I am phoning this one in somethin’ fierce.

Let’s talk about X-Men Legacy #217. I also stopped reading this post-Messiah Complex. Boy, am I glad I did. There’s a bunch of nonsense about Wolverine’s son being seduced by Lady Sinister or whatever the heck her name is. Plus, Wolverine infiltrates the Hellfire Club, and it looks like he’s got a fight on his hands next issue. Great. This one sucked, and I hope you don’t buy it. I could write a better comic standing on my dick.

Don’t worry, though, sports fans. I saved the best for last. Daredevil #112 is the first issue of Daredevil that I’ve had my hands on in several months. It’s part two of the Lady Bullseye storyline, and I absolutely love it. Jim Doom mentioned several weeks ago, when the first issue of this arc came out, that he thought it was better than the series has been lately, and I have to wholeheartedly agree. The stuff with Danny Rand especially sticks out as some fantastic fun, and I can’t believe I had so little amount of faith in this title to drop it when I did.

I don’t want to spoil a single plot point, but I would like to implore anybody else out there who’s in the same boat as me, who dropped Daredevil when it started to suck, to pick this issue up (hell, maybe even pick up the last issue, too, while you’re at it), and get back into this sucker. I really enjoyed it.

The writing, of course, is great, but, really, not enough can be said about the art, as well. It’s just beautiful stuff to look at. Buy it on Wednesday. Tell ’em Doom DeLuise said so.