Book of Doom That Time Forgot: Ultimates 2 #13

There’s just too much this week. We took on two books at once, and there was just too much reviewing and writing to do, so we only got one done. I read on the internet that Doom DeLuise was almost done with his review, but then I read somewhere else that he isn’t…but the next one will be done tomorrow – I promise. Just a tiny delay…

No actually, there’s just so much Book of Doom goodness to go ’round, that this week’s roundtable is split into two parts! Today, the Legion and guest reviewer Aaron of GeekInTheCity.com take on Ultimates 2 #13, and tomorrow we’ll be back with All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder #5.

Although this week’s theme was books that have been notoriously delayed, I really wish Ultimates 2 #13 would have come out sooner.

I was really looking forward to this issue, but when I sat and read it, nothing had much of an impact on me, and I can chalk most of that up to the fact that I had pretty much forgotten what had happened to lead up to this issue. When I sat back and thought about what had preceded this, I thought “Huh, I bet this would have been a pretty good issue had I read #1-12 within the past year or so.” But I didn’t, and my reaction was diminished as a result.

I bet the final revelation that Thor is a god and not a madman was pretty cool for those who remembered it. For me, it was just those first few pages, and by the time I got to the big reveal, I was like “Oh yeah, that’s what was going on.” Bummer.

Those big widescreen battle scenes are where Bryan Hitch excels, but that 8-page gatefold was just excessive. It certainly didn’t help my reading experience that I had to abruptly halt my immersion into the story to unfold and unfold and unfold, then fold and fold and fold. And I’m not sure the big flying rainbow through the sky has the desired awe-inspiring effect on the reader.

I like that, while Millar wrote the mainstream heroes’ transition from independent vigilantes to government agents, he’s here writing an inverse transition from government agents to independent heroes. That’s a shift that will have its own unique set of problems, as Hawkeye here acts like a cold-blooded black ops agent when his team is trying to make the transition into heroes. It shows how the different militarized origin of the Ultimates translates to the “tough moments,” where people are either heroes or flawed, vengeful humans who’ve spent their adult lives solving problems with lethal force.

I enjoyed the conclusion, which reminded us that these two volumes have been Captain America’s story. He “died” and was “reborn” as a soldier, but his ultimate (no pun intended) commitment was to this cause of freedom, and that commitment supersedes his sense of duty and his personal desires.

Ultimates 2 #13 was a bit of a dud for me as far as individual issues go, but I have a decent amount of faith that when I get the chance to sit down and re-read the series, it’s probably a pretty good finale.

Here’s what the rest of the Legion had to say…

Jean-Claude Van Doom:
First, I just have to thank divine Providence for smiling down on us this week. Yes, I really enjoyed reading these two books. No, seriously. It was one of the better comics reading experiences I’ve had in a good long time. But it’s for a different reason with each of the books. Let’s hit up Ultimates 2 first.

The hardest thing about waiting so long for this issue is that I’ve long loved the Ultimates series. It’s the Ultimate universe at its best, meaning Millar taking a familiarly new swing at the Avengers, a team that really needed an updating. The characters all are unique, as are the struggles. And the political commentary is much smarter than what we saw in Civil War. Also, Bryan Hitch is the balls.

But he’s also terribly slow, which brings us to now, nearly a year late on issue 13. Bad luck, I guess. Did the delay hurt? Yes, in the sense that I was so far removed from the ongoing Ultimates series that I really had to treat this as almost a standalone issue. That said, I’m glad I have it in the collection so I can reread the series in complete.

But even for coming so out of context, there’s no way to get around that Millar writes awesome action sequences and Hitch illustrates them better than anyone. I mean, there are 14 pages of huge battle sequences (not counting the 8 page foldout) in the book’s first half! And unlike Steve McNiven’s work, Hitch brings a jaw-dropping amount of scope and depth to his work.

Perhaps even better is the way Millar wraps up all his loose threads (Hawkeye!!!) and sets up the next arc with a new paradigm. He takes a risk ending the book with the 1940s era Cap vignette, but it’s effective if a bit jarring. Just excellent stuff. Do I wish it had come out on time? Of course. But if it had, my head might’ve exploded.

Doom DeLuise:
I’ve never read a single issue of the Ultimates, regardless of which volume. So, going off of what they provide for backstory on the first page of this issue, I guess you could say I was both bored and unsurprised. Here’s the last line in the synopsis thus far, for those of you who don’t want to look again: “But what is Thor? God or madman?”

Really, what kind of options are those? Is this the big cliffhanger? Is Thor a god or a madman? Come on, this is a super-hero comic. Of course he’s a god. Although, if his incarceration was a big factor in past issues, well, I suppose these first couple of pages would probably blow me the heck away.

I don’t want to come down on either side of the proverbial fence on this issue, because, like I said, I know nothing of what’s come before. If there was a solid framework and some decent build-up, well, I imagine this issue probably paid off fairly well. I just really don’t know. Don’t know, shouldn’t say.

Fin Fang Doom:
Ultimates 2 #13 was just sort of there. It was kind of a cool fight, but then again the last two issues have been cool fights. It tied up some loose plot threads, but then again most of those didn’t really need tying up. It looked pretty, but then again it better damn well be pretty if it took that long to draw. I don’t really have much to say about the issue because there really wasn’t much in the issue that seems worth talking about. Ultimates 2 did not need to be extended to thirteen issues if all they were going to do was add another issue’s worth of excessively drawn fight scenes. And octuple splash pages don’t work: if you can’t look an entire comic panel without turning your head, it doesn’t need to be one continuous panel.

and celebrity guest reviewer Aaron from GeekintheCity.com:
“The Ultimates Volumes One and Two dedicated with love to Stan and Jack.”

This is how Issue 13 of The Ultimates 2 ends. While I’m not one who looks back at the work of Stan and Jack with blinding hero worship, I do wonder if they ever would have penned a book where heroes kill in cold blood. However, I am getting ahead of myself. I’ve got this love / hate relationship with Mark Millar. A love / hate relationship that only Frank Miller can match, (which I’ll get to later). To me, when Millar is on, his storytelling is top notch and he knows how keep the story and dialogue sharp. Not even a ball out action scene can keep his banter down.

Which is why I was so surprised when the ultimate (no pun intended) street brawl between The Ultimates and Loki’s evil Juton army was so friggen boring. Sure, that 8-page spread was interesting, but didn’t capture me the way, well, the way an 8-page spread should. All I kept wondering was, “I waited darn near a year for this?” While the denouement wasn’t as tedious as Civil War, it still felt rushed. (Which, considering the release schedule is sadly laughable). In the interest of fairness, I did go back and read the issues leading up to issue 13. While it did help with the overall rhythm of the story, the entire event still felt rushed.

Marvel promised this issue would go down as one of the greatest tales to grace comics in decades. Um, okay, if you say so Joe. Good thing it didn’t break the internet, as I doubt these series of tubes we call the internet can survive one more breaking event. You might think I’m being a little too hard on this book. You might also be thinking, Aaron, you’re a self-described DC fanatic, of course you didn’t like this book. Well, as you’ll read in a minute [Doom note: it actually won’t be up until tomorrow], I’m just as hard on DC when warranted. However, this book simply wasn’t the massive event Marvel promised it to be. It sure as hell wasn’t worth the months long delay.

I just can’t shake the feeling that Mark Millar had a different ending in mind. The Ultimates 2 #13 felt like a story that has gone through one too many re-writes. A story that was yet another casualty of Marvel’s other long-delay event, Civil War. Captain America, an even harder military man in his Ultimate Universe incarnation, does little in the way of tactics or leadership. Poor Hawkeye does nothing but deliver bad one-liners, when he isn’t killing people in cold-blood. (I don’t care how villainous the person was; heroes do not kill in cold blood. Even in the Ultimate Universe). Millar’s Ultimate version of Iron Man seems to have more heart and compassion than his Earth-616 counterpart. (A sad commentary on
Marvel’s status to be sure).

Okay, this one is going to get me flamed into oblivion. However, even the normally energetic Bryan Hitch phones this one in. Yes, that 8-page spread is an impressive achievement, but it’s nothing that hasn’t been down before. Look at some of the combo-covers from the past. Artists have been drawing dynamic panoramas for decades. This time around, Hitch’s art isn’t grabbing me. His skill at capturing kinetic movement within the printed page is still there, but it came at the cost of character detail. If it weren’t for their uniforms, I would have found it difficult to differentiate between many of the characters in this book. (Okay, mainly the blond members). Don’t believe me; look at the page with Wasp kissing Thor. Could you tell the facial difference between Captain America, Ant Man, and Thor? Neither could I.

Perhaps in the end I just can’t read this comic without being reminded that it took close to a year to create. A book that took one year to make needs to complete blow me away. It needs to make me forget that it took close to a year to make. The Ultimates 2 #13 isn’t that book. If you’re a completist, you are going to want this book. However, you aren’t going to feel good about it later.

But, at least it isn’t going to piss you off, like…

All Star Batman and Robin #5 review coming tomorrow…